דלג לתוכן
דיקלה - מורה להוראה מתקנת

The two banks of the river – relations between parents and teachers

So, who actually educates our children?

The natural and obvious answer is that parents educate their children from birth to adulthood. Parents are the ones who decide if they want to exercise their right to give birth to children, and they must take full responsibility for it, for better or worse.

However, when children enter the school framework, the subject of "responsibility," it turns out, has a somewhat different meaning for some parents. The teacher in the classroom, who bears great responsibility for educating the children and their learning during the school day, often has to deal with demanding parents who think the teacher should also take care of their children after school hours and impart those values that they should acquire at home from their parents.

Gladly, in most cases, the relationship between parent and teacher is based on mutual respect and cooperation designed to ensure the success of the children in school in particular and in life in general. However, I would like to mention here those parents that see teacher as a service provider from whom they can make demands, and who they can often criticize without choosing the words they use. Often, these parents mainly hurt their own children. There is no doubt that the teacher should be attentive to the wishes and requests of the parents, but sometimes boundaries become blurred, and things get blown out of proportion and control and the teacher becomes the main culprit. I'll give you a number of examples from the field: It's not conceivable that a parent should have the temerity to call the teacher on his mobile late in the evening, and request to talk to him about his child. The parent should respect the teacher's own personal time and arrange for a convenient time to talk.

Another example is the parent that contacts the Grade Level Coordinator or even the administrator, to complain about the teacher without first talking to the teacher about it. This shows only contempt for the role of the teacher, and delivers a wrong message both the child and the class.

Another example is a parent who tells a teacher in class, "Find something to do with my child, it's your problem." Dear parent, there are certain types of responses acceptable in school and a child may not obstruct the studies of a whole class without the teacher taking control. The reason I'm telling you this, dear parent, is so you may also explain to your child that his behavior is not appropriate and should be corrected.

As I mentioned above, the child himself suffers. The parent sends the child the wrong message about teachers and the education system. These messages remain in his memory for years affecting behavior negatively. This makes it difficult to educate the child at school, at home, and within his social framework.

However, I would like to clarify one thing: There is no doubt that the teacher is also sometimes mistaken, what to do, he's only human. Perhaps it has to with the age, the exercise or the wrong environment. Still, the parent should show respect and let the teacher explain the situation. In addition, attention should be paid that conversations with the teacher are not held in front of the children, but are discreet and everyone should attempt to understand what all the fuss is about. Most important: the teacher teaches in the classroom and must be attentive to the 40 students in his class and their parents – clearly an impossible task!! However, he has no choice, and tries to the best of his ability, even if it does not seem right to you at that particular moment. Believe me, you would not want to trade places with him, right?!

Another thing, dear parents: Remember!! You are not the students in the class. It is not the same as when you were students. This is another time, a new era, a new language loaded with technology and void of human interactions. The teacher is a juggler, who tries to juggle between thousands of tasks and tens of thousands of student behaviors, some of which can be solved immediately, and some not at all. Sometimes juggling will work, sometimes not. If you really do not agree with the teacher and reach an impasse – which is your right – there is a way of acting and saying goodbye nicely.

In case of questions on the subject, you are invited to contact me.

Yours,

Dikla

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